Some things just go
together: strawberries and cream; films and popcorn; wives and
nagging; 3D and headaches. And then there are American Presidents and
the undead. The past few years have seen a resurgence in all things
vampire, with the Twilight novels
and films giving millions of fifteen-year-old girls something to sink
their teeth into (I'm sorry, no more fangtastic puns shall be made
from now on). Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter comes
from the director Timur Bekmambetov who brought you Wanted
and is produced by, amongst
others, Tim Burton. If you're a teacher looking for an easy afternoon
off by showing your GCSE class an historically-accurate film to
educate them about the American Civil War, this isn't the film.
Let's
make no mistake - Abraham Lincoln:
Vampire Hunter is
stupendously silly. In fact, it's the daftest thing I've seen since
Russia wheeled out its latest Eurovision entry from the local care
home. The plot sees the 16th
President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln (played by Benjamin
Walker), discover that the country is infested by vampires who are
waiting to take over America. Lincoln sets out to destroy them and
save the country from becoming a land of the dead. Not, then, the
generally accepted history of the US. Let's begin with this plot
which is, quite frankly, a mess. At 105 minutes, the film doesn't
totally fall apart but the plot is as weak as a marshmallow bridge.
Lincoln wandered from set piece to set piece, fighting vampires with
his trusty silver-edged axe and then, suddenly, he was President of
the United States. I understand that this film isn't a political
drama but a clear plot line would have made the world of difference
to the action.
I
have to say that these action sequences were proficiently executed
and were, at times, rather enthralling as Lincoln jumped around,
wielding his axe and splattering vampire blood at the audience in all
its 3D gory, sorry, glory. A few predictable, but fun, jump scares
kept me on my toes and Bekmambetov's volatile style of directing was
plainly visible. The film's cast were all fine, with Dominic West and
Rufus Sewell giving engaged performances and Walker's facial
similarity to Lincoln himself was quite uncanny. The film is quite
violent but in that distinctly fantastical style that Bekmambetov is
accustomed to creating and I kind of liked the ambition with which he
approached the subject matter.
With
Burton as a producer, the film was always going to look interesting
and, if you ignore the 3D, the film is well-designed and has visual
punch. Some nice touches, such as the locations, the vampires' eyes
and the fact that they can't kill their own kind were dynamically
conceived and reflected the 'out there' nature of the film. But no
amount of sweeping shots of the Capitol could have disguised the
fundamental problem with the script. Seth Grahame-Smith (who wrote
the original novel and the screenplay) obviously didn't listen in
screen writing class and has seriously neglected a strong plot in
favour of style and if you can't see the twists and turns coming from
a hundred paces, then you're seriously not trying. If the story had
not taken itself so seriously and at least made some sort of attempt
to coherently hang together then this film may well have stepped up a
star.
Abraham Lincoln:
Vampire Hunter might have one of
the best film titles of all time but its spine is so weak that all
the other elements which could have been applauded lose their impact.
It's silly, daft and crazy but, you know what, that's fine. I rather
enjoyed it and my expectations were slightly exceeded. It's a fun
film and not totally without merit. Just don't go to the cinema
expecting Nosferatu.
Clapperboard Rating: * *
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