The Expendables 2

It was with a certain degree of excitement that I went along to an afternoon screening of a film I knew was going to be one of two things: over-the-top or, well, over-the-top. That film was The Expendables 2, and I can happily say that I wasn't wrong.

You only have to watch The Expendables to know exactly what you're getting with The Expendables 2 and that, I'm afraid, is damning with faint praise. The Expendables 2 reunites the old gang from the first film (Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren) and throws in some more action-heroes for good measure in the form of Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger. The result is certainly explosive and it's safe to say that a drag act is more understated and reserved than The Expendables 2.

We'll address the plot first, which sees Mr Church (Willis) send the expendables on a mission which should be a walk-in-the-park. But when one of their men is killed in cold blood, the need for revenge leads the ageing heroes deep into enemy territory. I'll begin by stating the obvious: subtlety, nuanced performances and intricate story lines were not this film's forte. This is, however, kinda the point. Audiences don't go to see an action film expecting anything less than all-out, full-throttle madness. This madness took the form of action sequences which were tautly-edited and (although it shames me to say it) really quite enjoyable. From the opening sequence to the film's denouement, the explosive violence and crazy fight scenes were so over-the-top and so excessive, that I found myself sitting in stunned consternation. There was also, I'll admit, a grin on my face.

With the outrageous action to one side, there was a serious issue with plot exposition which felt rather stagnant. In many ways, it felt as though scenes in which Arnie muttered one-liners and Stallone tried to pull off convincing emotion were mere padding and I kept wanting the film to get back to the thing we'd all come to see: a group of OAPs blowing things up. At one point, Stallone exclaims that his new aeroplane belongs in a museum. “We all do” returns Schwarzenegger. Never has a piece of cinematic dialogue rung more true.

To the film's credit, the screenplay (co-written by Stallone) was suitably self-aware of all the tropes of B-movie action films and wasn't afraid to send itself up. Then again, to have done anything else would have been seriously silly. As the body count rose higher than an episode of Midsomer Murders, I came to the realisation that despite the camp action, predictability and feeling that I could have been watching an advert for Age Concern UK, The Expendables 2 really is rather fun. Its indulgent, no-brain attitude to violence and fighting can't be applauded for insight or originality but that's no bad thing and it is certainly an entertaining watch. Roll on The Expendables 3 (!). 

Clapperboard Rating: * *