Johnny English Reborn

I never know which is better: to see something you've been looking forward to and for it to disappoint you, or to never see that something and to hold a happy idea in your head of what it would be like. To be honest, I wish I had never set foot in the screening of Johnny English Reborn. I wish I hadn't had all my positive thoughts about it shattered more quickly than a Currys window during the Summer Riots. I wish I had left that cinema the moment I was asked to pay £7.30 for the privilege of watching a dreary and predictable re-hash of something which had been done before but so, so much better. They say hindsight is a wonderful thing...

Johnny English Reborn follows a similar premise to the first film, Johnny English, which was released all the way back in 2003. Having been expelled from MI7 following a bungled security operation, the misfit spy Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson) is recalled to help track down and stop a group of international assassins, intent on killing the Chinese Premier. So, pretty standard spy/espionage stuff and, to a certain extent, it worked. Atkinson's skill in comedic timing and facial expressions helped keep the film from slowly sinking to the depths of total banality and the humour did make me chuckle a fair few times. And yet, it was this humour which was one of the main problems with the film: it could have been so much funnier. Jokes were drawn-out, over-played and I couldn't help thinking that the writers had thought of some of the set-ups as they were doing the school run and listening to Thought For the Day on Radio 4. The joke set-ups were so obvious and predictable that I found myself wondering why the middle-aged man sat next to me found everything so hilariously funny. Not even a canned-laughter audience would have laughed as much as he did. It's a real shame because, as I have already said, certain bits were genuinely funny. But these glimpses of what could have been were overshadowed by the run-of-the-mill trash which would have been more suited to the clown at a children's birthday party.

The predictable plot could have been written in a GCSE media studies class and the overall narrative lacked a drive and sense of purpose, with scenes seeming to exist on their own, rather than fitting in to an cohesive scheme. And don't get me started on some of the acting. Not since you assembled that Ikea wardrobe have you seen anything more wooden (I am thinking in particular of the MI7 boss played by Gillian Anderson). It was not an Oscar-winning performance. However, Atkinson's talent for physical comedy redeemed some of the other performances but even his efforts were slightly disappointing and a bit flat. Actually, you know what, that's the word I would use to describe the whole film. Flat. The script was flat, the acting was flat, the jokes were flat and the action was flat. In fact, the film could have been made in the Netherlands. It could have been so much better. It should have been so much better. I had had such high hopes for Johnny English Reborn but walking out of the cinema I just felt let down. If you do want to see it, watch the trailer because it's one of those trailers where all the funny bits have been used. Think of it as the comedy highlights. Despite all this, a young audience will find it funny and I'm sure it will take a load of money at the box office, but I wish I hadn't seen it. Ignorance, it would seem, really is bliss. 

Clapperboard Rating: * *